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You’re sitting on your favorite chair watching “Michael Bay’s M*A*S*K: The Motion Picture!” when it is interrupted by an urgent message from the government. You immediately turn up the volume and direct all of your attention towards the frantic looking newscaster. “Good evening, I am Ali J. Goldman-Soto the XI here at KTRE Channel 9 News. The government has issued a state of emergency for the whole country because an unidentified being has escaped confinement from a government funded laboratory in New Hampshire. It is unclear what this ‘creature’ could possibly be, but what we do know, is that it’s huge and vicious so you should stay inside your houses at all times.” Just then you hear a series of deafening crashes outside of your house. You race to the window and thrust open the curtain to see a 59 ft tall Lovecraftian monstrosity starring at you with one of its big black eyes. You recall a piece of information that your father had told you about how if you don’t move or think, Cthulhu won’t be able to see you, so you immediately stand as still as possible and thought only of a perfectly blank white wall. After 5 or so minutes of trying not to move or think, the Elder God loses interest in you and swings it’s head around to face a different direction. When it does so, you can clearly see a T-X Terminatrix Terminator from the 3rd movie with a Cyberman’s from “Doctor Who” head sitting on the Ancient One’s back holding a 80s boombox playing Andrew W.K.’s “Party Party Party!” while also waving staff with a flag that says “would like to humbly say:
” The Cyborg then steered Cthulhu down the street so it could gain enough speed to take off and fly away, never to be seen again…
))
Sta.sh
